Although we are only going on our 4th year of marriage, we can confidently say we will stay that way for eternity. There are no doubts in our minds that our relationship will ever end in divorce. Now many people think, well you don't know what is going to happen down the road... and they are right! However, I do know that there a few things that are so crucial in a relationship that we have to prevent us from having any doubts.
It all starts off with knowing your partner. It's the little things that really matter. For instance, one thing that causes a lot of arguments for couples is when they are forced into things. This of course is often unavoidable. Let's take shopping trips for example. If it is a big stock up trip, with a lot of heavy items, it takes both of us going. I know Dan naturally will dread this trip because he just wants to relax for the night after work. I find that Dan is much less moody when I text him gentle reminders throughout the day. It is natural to forget when you are busy at work and no one wants to be surprised with chores right when they come home. By knowing what puts his mind at ease, I am able to help make the trip more enjoyable and avoid what could have possibly turned into an argument.
Have time for just the two of you. This becomes increasingly challenging as time goes on, especially when you start adding children into the equation, but you have to find time for just the two of you. It is truly amazing how fast time goes by and how all of a sudden two years go by without you having a night to just yourselves. One thing that I find helps us is finding a Groupon deal. By having something scheduled, it makes us put more effort into getting there without excuses. As soon as you get the pesky details worked out, like who is watching the kids, you can have an awesome night that helps rekindle the romance. It is definitely important to experience that at least once a month.
Dream together. We know things we want to do or achieve in the future, and are able to relate on a lot of them. It is so important to know and understand each others goals so that you can go through life helping one another achieve them. Once you are in a relationship, it is not just about you anymore. You have to care for your partners dreams too. The greatest thing about dreams is the feeling of achieving them together, making your bond so much stronger.
Most importantly, COMMUNICATE. If you are consistently communicating, arguments should rarely occur. Of course you have to compromise and surprisingly it does not have to be 50-50, however it does need to equal 100%! Chances are one spouse will be slightly more stubborn. In our case, it is me, but luckily, Dan giving in that extra 10% comes naturally. For others it may take more work, 50-50 may be the only way to compromise. The other key component to effective communication is making sure you communicate about things before they actually happen. It surprises me how often couples will wait for something to happen before they start discussing options. Talk about it before it happens, that way there are no last-minute regrettable decisions being made.
This is honestly just the short list. Of course there are other things that can cause a relationship to fail, but usually that has to do with one of the partners traits. Evaluate the person you are with, are they actually the right person and why? If they are and you can follow these simple steps, there are no reasons why your relationship should ever fail.
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